VALUE THE SCARS

                                                                  

Photo by Insung yoon on Unsplash

It is Mental Health awareness month and I just thought about how sometimes failure to move on from past experiences affects our Mental well-being. Wether it's painful relationship, personal failure or a traumatic event. When you are still stuck in the past or maybe afraid of what the future holds for you. You live with stress, anxiety and depression because when your heart can't let go, the unresolved emotions  make us emotionally stuck.

For a long time I was not able to move on, I kept blaming my past and didn't see any light in the future, I was so angry with myself, I felt that I had failed myself. The unresolved emotions I had, resulted to so much stress. I was so much depressed but I didn't want to talk to anyone about it because I was afraid of the judgement I might receive.

For all that time I pretended to be okay while I was silently dying inside. The silent battles during early motherhood stage and the postpartum stress I couldn't get over, resulted to my mind becoming blocked. I lost my self-esteem and I had strained relationships especially with men. My heart couldn't heal and I didn't get any opportunities coming my way or I just didn't embrace the opportunities that came. I was living in a ditch without any growth.

This was until I learnt to move on. I learnt to let go of my past by first embracing my scars. I learnt to  accept my past and live fully for the present. I even enrolled in a Mental Health Counselling class to learn how to foster Mental well-being and also help other people move on.

Now let's talk about moving on. Moving on from a loss you incurred, from broken relationships, from  rejections or any traumatizing past. It doesn't mean that you have to fully forget about what happened but it's all about acceptance and freeing ourselves to live more fully in the presence.

Sometimes we might feel that we have the darkest past but wait until you hear a story about someone else then you get to realise how better you really are. I got pregnant when I was in campus but I could imagine that little girl in primary school  who do not even know how it really happens, that's when I learnt the need of moving on,so that I can help that little girl to also move on.

Acknowledging what happened in the past is the first step for healing. Accepting that it happened and allowing yourself to feel it, the grief, the shame, the guilt and the anger that might come with it, that is part of the process towards healing.

Let your past not define you and allow room for growth. Separate yourself from the past and create change, let it shape you but not define you. My past shaped me, through the silent battles I discovered a purpose; to help the young girl move on, to help someone who might be going through the same or even worse through the journey and that is why I became a Mental Health Champion and Counselor. 

From our past we need to take responsibility, practice self-forgiveness and redefine our story. We need to get out of the darkness and face the light, pick up our broken pieces and make jewellery out of them. But I am not saying you need to do it alone, get support from friends or family members you can trust. Having someone to lean on easen the journey of healing, people might judge you, some will criticize and stigmatize you, but embrace all that.

Some days might feel so hard, you are allowed to cry, to mourn and to grieve but keep moving with more grace and hope.

In the process of moving on, just find a purpose. Every step towards acceptance is a step forward towards freedom and that is how you take back your power.

                                         LET'S EMBRACE OUR SCARS AND MOVE ON